The Innocent Paradox
by mistlove
Summary: Illusions are reality. Reality are mere fantasies. Love is hate. Honesty is dishonesty. Justice is injustice. Chastity is corruption. Innocence is guilty. She needed him, not the other way around. She would not be anything more than a vessel to him.


NO PERVERTED COMMENTS AND OR REQUESTS IN REVIEWS. RUDE REVIEWS WILL RESULT IN THE STORY BEING TAKEN DOWN. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING THE AUTHOR.

**Title:** The Innocent Paradox  
**Summary: **Illusions are reality. Reality are mere fantasies. Love is hate. Honesty is dishonesty. Justice is injustice. Chastity is corruption. Innocence is guilty. She needed him, not the other way around. She would not be anything more than a vessel to him.  
**Author:** mistlove  
**Copyrights:** Plot is mine. Everything else belongs to Amano Akira.  
**Notes:** I think this story is the definition of cheesiness, over-sentimentality, and bathos but... I tried to depict both of them as accurately as I could. Mukuro spits out cheese-ball lines like a machine. I feel like Mukuro is the kind of person who sweet-talks Chrome and isn't uncomfortable with confessing how much he loves someone (or lies about how much he loves them). Is Tsuna too morbid? I feel like when he gets desperate, he'd start making threats like that... A bit dark in theme...  
_ _ _ _ _

"Mukuro-sama...," she whispered, a smile on her blood-stained face. "You are okay... I am so glad..."

Her single purple eye slowly shut.

His gaze shifted to the broken enemy a few feet from her body. In an amazing burst of power, she obliterated the enemy in a mere second. His wounds were minor but with his still aching muscles, his reflexes weren't even half of what they were before. With his delayed reaction speed, the enemy had gone in for the kill shot. So she went and killed his opponent, taking the hit for him.

_All because I was careless. All for me._ _So frustrating._

He swore. He got up and dusted himself off.

"Mukuro! Are you okay?" the boss's young voice rang out. The brunette appeared from behind the building, his expression one of intense worry.

Anger welled up inside of him. He didn't want to deal with anybody right now.

"I'm fine. You shouldn't worry about me, you foolish boy. I'm your enemy," he snapped.

The boss brushed off that comment the way he always did. A smile broke out across his face.

"I'm glad you're okay!"

"At cost... of someone else."

"What... do you..." His chocolate brown eyes fell on the female mist guardian. "CHROME...!"

Without sparing a glance back, the indigo-haired paced off.

"What... Mukuro!" the boss yelled, his tone mixed with worry and confusion. "Where are you going?"

"Kokuyou Land," he replied indifferently. "Where else have I got to go to?"

A frown creased Tsuna's forehead. "What about Chrome?"

"Why worry for her?" He whipped back around, glaring at his boss. "She's got a body. She has legs. She knows where to find me."

Anger took over his expression. "She's dying, Mukuro! Have you gone mad?"

"She won't die. She can't die." He put a hand over his eye. "She can't die if I don't let her."

The boss was speechless at the other's cold words.

"She belongs to me," he said softly. "Her existence, her life... it's all mine."

_I can't stop. All the bitterness, all of the feelings I don't understand... I can't stop talking._

"She's mine. As such, it would be out of line for her to die when her life is not hers."

"Mukuro!" He made an angry sound. "I thought you were better than this!"

He turned to leave. "She needs me. She will find a way to survive."

"Your bond..." Tsuna sounded desperate. "doesn't it mean anything to you?"

"The bond of eternity I promised her... is something to give her solace. I can find another vessel, but I pity her." He indicated himself with his hands. "She needs me. I am necessary for her existence."

The boss was silent.

His footsteps like lead, he paced off. All the while, he wondered what this strange heavy feeling inside his heart was.  
_ _ _ _ _

"Welcome back, Mukuro-san!" Ken greeted with a bright smile. "Kakipii made dinner for us alreeeaaaady! Pyon!"

"... I'm not hungry."

Ken's smile faded at the illusionist's cold brush-off. "Mukuro-san...?"

Mukuro sighed, shaking his head. "I apologize, Ken. I'm simply very tired."

"Ah, no, I'm sorry, Mukuro-san!" He shook his head, the smile returning. "I shouldn't bother you after you've come back after such a long day! Pyon!"

"Mukuro-sama." Chikusa came out from the hallway. "The food is ready."

"Mukuro-san said he's not hungry, Kakipii pyon!" Ken stuck his tongue out at the megane. "Stuuuupid."

Chikusa ignored the other, turning his gaze to the indigo-haired. "... Mukuro-sama, where is Chrome?"

"Oh yeah, that ugly girl isn't here, pyon!" Ken glanced around. "She's always lagging behind, isn't she, Mukuro-san?"

The mist guardian didn't reply, striding past them to his room.

The two glanced at each other, both looking concerned.

"... I'll handle this." Chikusa put a hand up, turning to follow the illusionist. "Put the food away."

Ken considered this for a moment before doing so with a frustrated growl.

He paced over to the large, empty room. The only furniture in the room was an old sofa and a small broken coffee table. The cold concrete floor was littered with rubble, shrapnel, and broken window glass. Still, it was one of the better rooms with a working door and the others had voted that Mukuro was to take the best room for his use. Mukuro stood silently with his back to the open door, slipping off his black trench coat. He tossed it onto the sofa before stripping off his loose black tie and inner white shirt.

"... Good night, Mukuro-sama," Chikusa called carefully.

_... Isn't SHE... the one who usually tells me that...?_

He turned around to give the megane a trite smile. "Is there something you're trying to tell me, Chikusa?"

The megane shook his head slowly. "... No... of course not, Mukuro-san..."

"You're lying."

Silence.

_Chikusa would lie to me, Ken would lie to me... and I would lie to myself, but why won't she lie to me?_

"Ah, well... everyone lies." His hand hovered over his right eye. "Humans are dishonest beings. I suppose I can forgive you this time..."

Chikusa frowned, but stayed silent.

"Oh, how rude of me. Thank you for wishing me that." He smiled. "Buonanotte, Chikusa."

The other nodded slowly, as if unsure. He left, closing the door behind him quietly.

"Good night... hah." He laughed softly to himself, putting his face in his hands as he lied down.

He closed his eyes.

"I wonder what kind of nightmare I'll dream up tonight?"  
_ _ _ _ _

_The fields of endless greenery and floral designs... the place where they first met. It was where they would meet when one called the other. It was a beautiful place, the embodiment of dreams... and he often wondered how he could create such a beautiful place and stand being in it._

_"Mukuro-sama...?" Her soft voice called._

_ He flashed her a pleasant smile. "Yes, my cute Chrome?"_

_ They were sitting next to each other, leaning against a large evergreen tree. She was dressed in a pure white dress and he, in a white button-up and black slacks. What they wore when they first met..._

_ "You saved my... life. And now... it rests in your hands," she said slowly._ _"I... feel so safe. What... is this feeling?"_

_ "That is trust."_

_ She turned to him with a small smile on her pale pink lips. "It's a good feeling. I like it."_

_ "I see. That's good." He reached over and ruffled her hair gently. "I trust you too."_

_Her smile faded to a frown. "I... there's something else I feel..." _

_ Tears started bubbling in her eyes. _

_ "Chrome?" He frowned, cupping her cheek in his hand. "What's wrong? Does it hurt somewhere?"_

_ She nodded as several tears slipped down her cheeks. "It hurts..." She reached up and squeezed her chest, over her heart. "...right here. I... I don't understand it..."_

_ "Your... heart?" he repeated slowly._

_ Can she detect it...? The lies I'm telling her? _

_ He drew in a sharp intake of breath. It wasn't like him to wonder such a thing but..._

_ Am I... hurting her...?_

_ She sniffled, wiping at her tears. "Yes... I, um... I'm sorry. I shouldn't make Mukuro-sama see me like this..."_

_ "No, no, Chrome. Tell me if it hurts. I want to ease your pain." He stroked her cheek gently with his thumb. "We're bonded eternally. We must share our pain with each other. That way... it makes the pain so much lighter."_

_ She looked up to him for reassurance. "... You will... listen...?"_

_ "Yes. Anything for you, Chrome."_

_ She hesitated before opening her mouth. "... When I look at you... I think about losing you, Mukuro-sama..." Her grip tightened over her chest. "It's painful..."_

_ He didn't reply._

_ "I... I hate this feeling. It hurts... because I want you to always be there..." She put her face in her hands. "I'm so selfish... I'm such an ugly human being..."_

_ "No such thing, Nagi," he said softly. "What makes us human is the selfishness we all feel now and then. That feeling... that is love."_

_ "Love...?" She raised her gaze up to him. It was wracked with pain and sadness. "But I don't want to feel it... I want to take the pain away..."_

_ "Nagi, dear." He reached over and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. "Love is a beautiful feeling. Love... is something you feel when you treasure someone so much, you can't bear to lose them. It hurts, but ultimately, it brings you happiness."_

_"Happiness...?"_

_ "Yes. When you are with me, are you happy?"_

_ She nodded vigorously. "Yes! Yes, I'm happy...!"_

_ "As I thought," he smiled. "Nagi, this simply means you treasure me as another human being."_

_ "I... treasure you...? I love... you?" She nodded to herself, wearing an uncharacteristically determined expression. "Yes, Mukuro-sama, I love you!"_

_ He felt his cheeks start to burn. He wasn't sure why he felt this way. She was nothing more than a vessel..._

_ "Ah... well, yes, I love you too, Chrome."_

_ Were his lies starting to affect him?_

_ She smiled. "And we both love Chikusa and Ken too!"_

_ He chuckled. "Ku fu fu... yes, those two are simply comrades and perhaps... friends if you want to be more specific." His expression changed to a more serious one. "But Chrome, I love you dearly. More than anyone else."_

_ She blushed. "Mukuro-sama..."_

_ "However... I am not the one for you. There is someone out there for you." He flourished his hand at the vast expanse of lush greenery, as if to demonstrate the idea. "You and I have not yet found the person we seek, but we have yet a whole life in front of us. Out there, there is someone who will treasure you, love you so much more than I. And you too... will love that person with all your heart."_

_ "No!"_

_ He was surprised by her outburst. "N... No...?"_

_ "No, no!" She shook her head vigorously. "Mukuro-sama, I love you the most! With all my heart!" She blushed, realizing what she was saying. "Ah... I... I'm sorry. I must not say such things... I must not burden Mukuro-sama with my feelings..."_

_ She was so innocent, it was guilty. She didn't consider that he was just using her... and the thought may never have even crossed her mind. She trusted him so much, he almost believed it was a lie. Her pristine chastity reflected his stained corruption. If her existence was real, his was a lie. If his existence was real, hers was a lie. She was everything opposite him. If he is a devil, she is an angel. He was face to face with his worst enemy. And yet, he bears the pain of being unclean to possess her, to use her..._

_ "No, Chrome, I appreciate them very much." _

_ A lie. He was a liar and all he did was lie to her. Her feelings hurt. The weight of her words... although they were the words of a simple vessel, hurt so much..._

_ He put his arm around her shoulder and pressed her to him. "But I cannot make you happy the way that future lover will make you happy... And as such, I am not the one for you."_

_ "Ah... ano, yes. I... understand," she said sadly._

_ He felt a pang of guilt. "... I... have not found the person I treasure most." He shifted and pulled her into a tight hug. "But, Chrome- no, Nagi- I promise you this: you will be the one I love the most until I find that person."_

_ "That love... is not necessary, Mukuro-sama."_

_ She would... reject his love?_

_ "Mukuro-sama, it's okay." She pulled away from him. "I don't want you to force yourself to think that. I want you to find the one you really love. The woman for you... she will be so jealous of me if you love me, even if you don't mean it. So you must not make her sad..."_

_So honest, she should've LIED. So clean, she should've felt DIRTY. So innocent, she should've felt GUILTY. So pure... it was SINFUL._

_ "... Ah... yes, Nagi." He let her go. "You are right. I did not consider your feelings in the moment..."_

_ "No... Mukuro-sama, I am very grateful for your offer..." She smiled. It wasn't a happy one, but not quite a sad one. "Thank you... Mukuro-sama..."_

_ She faded into mist._

_ "Why am I so sad she's gone...?" He put his face in his hands. "She's just a vessel. Why does that smile... hurt so much to look at...?"_

The pale sunlight seeped through the cracked windows, dimly lighting up the room. He sat against the wall, already awake. His arms rested on his knees, which were pulled up near his body but spread out.

"A dream about the past promises I made her?" He laughed humorlessly. "A worthy nightmare indeed... must she remind me of how dirty I am?"  
_ _ _ _ _

His cellphone vibrated on the table. With a sigh, he picked it up and checked the number on the screen. His boss. The Vongola boss. He let it vibrate for several more moments.

_Hmph. As if I don't already know what he wants..._

Nevertheless, he flicked the cellphone open and put it next to his ear.

"... Yes, Sawada Tsunayoshi?" he answered indifferently. "What business could you have with a low-life, anti-mafia criminal like me? I'm so honored you called."

"Mukuro," the boss spat, the anger barely contained in his voice. "She's dying. Your precious vessel... it's dying. Do you care?"

"... I wonder," he drawled. "I don't think I do."

"... For her sake," the anger was becoming less and less controlled. "save her. She loves you so dearly, you have to save her."

"What if... I don't feel like it?" Mukuro taunted. He got up from his seat. "What will you do to me, my dear Sawada Tsunayoshi? Godfather of all mafia?"

"I'll kill you." The voice was deadly serious. "If Nagi dies, I'll kill you."

"Ah, that's right." He sighed, his tone mocking. "You are the only other one who knows her real name. Her real name is a precious thing to her. As one who knows that name... I don't think it's out of line for you to try and save her."

"_Mukuro_." The boss's usually kind voice was laced with hatred and anger. "Save her."

"Are you saying you can't save her yourself?" the illusionist sneered.

He didn't understand it. Why such bitter words and sarcasm? He wanted her to live as much as the young boss did but... he couldn't bring himself to say it...

A pause.

"... Yes," Tsuna sounded defeated. "Yes, I can't save her."

"Sawada Tsunayoshi, you are the strongest man in the world and you can't even save the life of a weak little girl? How pathetic, how sad that is."

Silence.

When Tsuna spoke again, the anger in his voice was gone, replaced with regret. "... I thought you were better than this, Mukuro. I really thought so."

"I already told you, Vongola- I'm a rotten human being. The worst of the worst."

"... I'm coming for you," Tsuna warned in a bare whisper. "The moment she dies, I'll come to kill you."

There was a slam on the other end of the line and his phone started to beep.

"How rude." He sighed, shutting off his cellphone. "He could've told me he was going to hang up."  
_ _ _ _ _

"_Back here again...?" he grumbled, noting the familiar green scenery. _

_ Too beautiful. Too clean. Too innocent. He was starting to wonder if this supposed garden of dreams was actually the embodiment of her pure spirit._

_ "Mukuro-sama!" _

_ "Yes... what is it?" he started wearily, putting on another trite smile for her._

_ She looked worried as she approached him. "What's wrong? Does it hurt?" _

_ "What is this nonsense?" He laughed. "Why would I be hurting?"_

_ "You look so troubled," the purple-haired explained. "Mukuro-sama, you don't have to hide it. Tell me so I can share your pain."_

_"I... I'm in no pain, Chrome." He shook his head, putting his hands up. "Don't upset yourself over me."_

_Another lie. That sense of self-hatred was growing stronger and the guilt... yes, the guilt was overpowering. But guilt of what, exactly?_

_"You made my pain lighter, Mukuro-sama." She clutched her chest tightly before looking up to him with a reassuring smile. "I want to make your burden lighter too..."_

_Silence._

_ "Make my burden lighter... yes, you can do that." His patience had snapped._

_ She sighed, relieved. "Mukur-"_

_"Throw away that ignorance, naivety, and innocence." His mismatched eyes creased into a dark glare. "Stop taking my actions at face-value and wise up. Realize you're just being used and push me away, run away."_

_Her single eye widened at his angry words. She looked away, clutching her hands to her chest. "... But... Mukuro-sama, it's okay. Mukuro-sama... I don't mind being used by you."_

_ He felt his eyes widen at her words._

_ "Mukuro-sama, I've always known..." She sniffled, tears starting to appear in her purple eye._ _"you were just using me. I knew it... but I was selfish and I wanted you to keep lying to me. I wanted you to lie to me about how much I mattered to you..."_

_ "Nagi..."_

_ She lied to him. That purity, that cleanness, that innocence... was a lie._

_ "So it's okay." She quickly wiped her tears and smiled at him. "It's okay if you don't want to lie to me anymore. So use me. I'll always listen to you because I want to be by your side..."_

_She's human, just like me. Tainted, just like me..._

_"But I'm afraid... I can't help you much longer..." Her hands flew up to her mouth just as blood spurted out._

_"No... Nagi...!" He rushed towards her. He reached out to grab her shoulders but caught only air as she dissolved into mist._

_ "Mukuro-sama... I'm sorry... I can't be used... anymore...," she whispered as she disappeared._

"NAGI!"He shot up from the sofa, gasping.

"Mukuro-san?" Ken burst into the room, breathless. "Mukuro-san, is something wrong?"

"Nagi... Nagi...!" Mukuro snatched his black trench coat, stumbling awkwardly as he got up. "Nagi, I'm coming...!"

"Mukuro-sama?" Chikusa appeared in the hallway. "What's wrong?"

"Out of the way!" the indigo-haired snapped. He pushed past the blonde and the megane, making a beeline for the exit. "I've got to get to her!"

He snatched his cellphone off of the table and flipped it open, dialing anxiously. One foot already out of the door, he looked around quickly before continuing straight ahead. With his free hand, he pulled on the trench coat and buttoned it clumsily, almost crashing into a tree in the process.

_How graceless. It's certainly not like me..._

There was a clicking sound on the other end as the phone opened.

"What do you want?" Gokudera's voice answered coldly.

"Where is Sawada Tsunayoshi?"

"The tenth... doesn't want to talk to you right now."

He barely made out a sophomoric 'dumb Mukuro' in the background. How childish could that boy get? He got out of the forest and spotting an obnoxiously yellow taxi cab down the street, waved anxiously at car stopped in front of him and the driver beckoned him to come in. He did so quickly.

"I'm sure he'll want to talk to me about Nagi," Mukuro continued.

"Who...?" the storm guardian sounded confused.

"Ah... Chrome, I mean."

"Namimori Shrine," he replied when the driver turned around. "As fast as you can or I'll kill you."

The driver gave him a weird look before nodding and heading off.

"... Boss, it's about Chrome-san..."

There was the sound of scuffling on the other end.

"Mukuro?"

"What's her condition? And what floor are you on?" the mist guardian asked calmly.

"Just run down the stairs to the second floor. It's faster that way. Oh and, Chrome took a bad hit to the head and one of her lungs is punctured," the boss explained hurriedly. "We've been stemming the blood and undergoing treatment, but she's in a coma so she's been kind of unconsciously keeping up her illusion organs. Hibari-san has been helping her do that but there's only so much he can do."

"Hibari? Oh dear, I'm going to owe him arms and legs when this is over... Driver, run the red light. It won't kill you."

"... Are in a... _taxi_ by any chance?"

"Oh? Ku fu fu... how did you guess?" Mukuro leaned forward, flashing the driver a dangerous smile. "I told you to run the red light."

"... Mukuro, stop scaring the poor guy..."

"Driver, I'll kill you if you don't get me there within the next minute. A life can be saved if you drive a little faster." He felt his smile widen at the driver's horrified reaction. "Oh and don't waste your time with the police. I'm exempt from all charges of murder, mass murder, and homicide. It's a nice quirk about being an acquaintance of Hibari Kyouya."

"... Do you always mind-fuck people when you're stressed?"

_Stressed? I'm way beyond any human stress now._

"... I'm just trying not to think about what will happen if I'm too late."

"Mukuro..."

He flipped the phone off.

"That's payback for hanging up on me," he muttered to himself.  
_ _ _ _ _

She recognized the hand... warm and big. It was strange... being in the depths of darkness, yet still being able to feel.

_... H... Hibari...?_ She called into the darkness.

No answer.

A warm and big hand like Hibari's... but not his? She squeezed the hand. It was bonier and softer, very familiar...

"I'm here." She could barely make out the words, but she heard it. "You're okay."

The darkness was getting lighter. The owner of the soothing voice, the name was at the tip of her tongue...

"M... Mukuro-sama!" Her eye shot open. She gasped, seeing his indigo blue hair was just visible to her.

_It's not a dream..._

"Nagi?" He bent forward, revealing the comforting face she had longed for.

Her vision blurred with tears. "Mukuro-sama!" she cried.

"Nagi, I am so sorry." He reached up to wipe her tears. "I should've come sooner for you."

"Ah..." She felt her happiness fade, remembering her prior conversation with him. "no, I come after everything else. I'm just a vesse-"

"No." He put a finger to her lips, silencing her. "You must never use that word. You are not a mere container. You are precious to me, Nagi. Irreplaceable... as the one I truly love."

She squeezed her eye shut before opening it again and forcing the words out. "Mukuro-sama, you... don't have to lie to me anymore..."

"I'm not lying." He shook his head, smiling kindly at her. "Everything I told you about loving you... I thought they were lies, but I was foolish. Nagi, you were the one I was seeking from the very beginning."

He wasn't lying. She didn't have to ask to know he meant it.

She felt tears bubble in her eyes again. "Mukuro-sama... I love you."

He chuckled, stroking her cheek before leaning down to kiss her.

"Yes, Nagi, I love you too."  
_ _ _ _ _

NO PERVERTED COMMENTS AND OR REQUESTS IN REVIEWS. RUDE REVIEWS WILL RESULT IN THE STORY BEING TAKEN DOWN. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING THE AUTHOR.


End file.
